The Man of Your Dreams: Coming up this Summer!
Glamour recently blogged about 15 ways to meet the man of our dreams this summer.
I clicked the link, hoping for sage advice and tried and true wisdom.
Imagine my disappointment when I saw a short paragraph that only listed one way to meet the man of our dreams.
In the sentence after that short paragraph, the blogger linked to an awesome slideshow of 10 more ways to meet men. Then she quickly listed another four ways to meet men in yet another short sentence:
I suppose that counts as 15 ways. Way to go, blogger. Get all our hopes up with the title, then show us one measly little way, and then link to 14 other ways that someone else wrote about. Now we have to go click click click through the website to get to read about all the different ways there are to meet the man of our dreams. Grumble grumble.
Here are the first seven ways to meet the man of your dreams.
Way 1: Host an outdoor summer picnic. You can make it obvious that you just want to pick up a guy by inviting all your very best girl friends and instructing them to bring their cute single guy friends AND their male friends so you can give them the once-over. Cover this up by saying, “The more [single guys] the merrier!” This picnic is not complete without PBJ sandwiches and juice boxes. Or hula hoops. Or bubbles. Or frisbees. Or water balloons and egg spoons. Bring out your inner goofball!
The key is to break the ice, so you can really connect with the guys.
Which, loosely translated, means “act like a desperate idiot so the guys will look at you all the time.”
It’s all in the name of Love.
Everyone will loosen up, laugh and have an awesome time — and you just might make a love connection!
Then I went to the slideshow of Ten Best Ways to meet the Guy of your Dreams. Yup. And I had to do some sleuthing around because the blogger messed up when she linked to it. Boo.
Way 2: Shop your friends’ friends. This involves some casual but crafty Facebook shopping. “Combine your love of online shopping with the best way to meet great guys.” You can play a cute game called “I Spy a Cute Guy.” Simply stated, look for some who is cute but also single. If his profile is private, and all Facebook profiles are typically private unless they’re that desperate, check with your friend. “Teehee, can you introduce me to him?” *insert vacuous giggling* The pressure is supposedly off because Facebook isn’t an online dating site (but now it is, since you made it so). Know each other as friends and go from there.
There’s a slight risk that your girl friends will know you as the “gal who asks about all their single Facebook guy friends.” But that shouldn’t matter in the quest for love. At all.
Way 3: Brush up on the news. Gather information. This isn’t to impress guys, though they do like smart girls. This is for your own good. No, really. Try to at least appear smart for goodness’ sake. This includes making CNN your home page on the internet (so when you happen to casually browse the web in front of a cute guy…) and subscribing to a magazine called The Week which takes each week’s news stories and makes them fascinating “talking points.” You can start a conversation with just about ANYONE. Guaranteed. Yup.
Way 4: Send a love-sparking tweet. All good women should have a Twitter account. For not only is it a wonderful way to know what’s going on in the world, it is a wonderful way to strike up a romance that will last your life. I use it to talk to myself, but that’s a different story altogether.
Send a tweet on Friday afternoon that you’re meeting friends at your favorite pub for a spontaneous happy hour… tell your “followers” to bring their friends. You’re bound to meet new people, and even if they’re not single, they might know someone to fix you up with later.
This will work perfectly for me, because all my followers are not from my state or my hometown, with the exception of a female blogger and one guy I’m well acquainted with. In fact, most of them are the nicest sort. They’re creepy stalker people who like seeing videos of Britney Spears naked.
Way 5: Spend some quality time alone. <insert picture of happy, beautiful woman staring dreamily out a window at a restaurant> Spending time by yourself is a good way to meet some wonderful guy. The key is looking happy and content.
I’ve heard that thinking happy thoughts will help. That or practicing a fake happy smile.
Here’s another way why it works. Packs of women scare men. Really.
And I’m sure that guys will notice the woman at the restaurant who always sits, dreamily gazing out of the window, with a happy smile with much promise of romance and love. Day after day after day after day. It is so normal, and totally not weird.
Way 6: Just say yes. Accept those invites to the parties you don’t want to go to. And even if the weird old guy at the party you met asks you out, do NOT say no. For all you know, he may be the one, even though he smells like the inside of a garbage can. Remember all those women who met their true love, thought he wasn’t cool, but fell in love with him and ended up marrying him? “He just may surprise you.”
You’ll be surprised. Yes, you will.
Way 7: Recycle the single guys you know. A single woman is nothing if not a recycling plant. Men are nothing if not bottles that go through the recycling plants we and our very best girl friends run. You know that guy who was nice but so totally not right for you. Host a get together and bring you extra bottles, um, guys around so your friends can meet them. Then watch the sparks fly.
But you have to set a one-single-guy minimum. “Spread the wealth!”
To summarize, practice your “I’m an idiot” skillz, your Facebook shopping skills, brush up on your news, use Twitter to meet cute guys and not just to talk to yourself, and spend plenty of time staring dreamily out of windows in restaurants.
Finally, don’t forget to say yes next time weird guy next door asks you out, and remember that you are a recycling plant.
Stay tuned with the next eight ways to meet the man of your dreams this summer!