Posts tagged ‘cassie edwards’

The Perfect Bride for Red Loincloth

The woman most likely to fall for the forceful embraces of your typical Stout Heart/Strong Wind/Red Loincloth is a redhead.

It seems that over the years, red hair has come to be a sign of strength, loveliness, strong-willedness, and more.

dva0539I only wondered when the umpteenth romance novel I read had a heroine of red hair. It was some Christian romance. Called The Knight and the Dove. The main character, Megan, was strong-willed, brave, spirited, and more than a little stupid in zee head. She, of course, had red hair. Beautiful red hair.

And then there was the Westernish romance about a woman who was falling in love with some dude who was supposed to protect her. It was the typical strong-willed/brave/spirited heroine in the wilderness who needs a man to protect her innocent soul. I forget the title now that I think about it. But I remember that she had RED HAIR. Beautiful curly red hair.

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And was more than a little stupid in zee head.

And my favorite redhead, Mara Jade Skywalker from the Star wars books by Timothy Zahn, was strong-willed, tough, spirited, and beautiful. But she was NOT stupid in zee head. She was one of my favorite characters in the whole Star Wars series: ever. She could fight, she was strong, and she did not cling to a man. Jade was the perfect woman for Luke Skywalker.

She was fierce, loyal, stubborn, and wielded a blaster like no other.

The picture on the right is one of my favorite pictures of her.

I was sad when she died.

But where did the redhead = strong willed/spirited/more than a little stupid in zee head trend start?

Cassie Edwards, who writes mostly Native American romances, has shown this trend multiple times. Her heroines are strong-willed, lovely, innocent, and have red hair.

Some of them act a little stupid in zee head, but since I haven’t read them for myself I can only ask my friends here to review a couple for me. Sarah and Candy have reviewed Savage Moon. The heroine here is more than a little stupid. But yeah.

The award-winning Savage series is set on the untamed frontier, where rugged warriors share tantalizingly sensual adventures with young and innocent heroines.

Perhaps with a Savage Surrender in the year of 1987.

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The heroine, Brenda, has very vivid red hair. In fact, it’s so red as to look a little like one of those theatre curtains.

Strong-willed Brenda has escaped her family’s murderers, only to have her anguish and fury challenged by the wilderness. Her only hope for survival lay in the forceful arms of an Ojibwa warrior–the kind of man Brenda had been raised to fear.

It takes a strong woman to escape murderers, and rush into the wilderness. However, her spirit is not enough for the challenge, as she is yet young and innocent. She needs a man. What better man than an Ojibwa warrior person? With forceful arms? Was his name Forceful Arms?

One year later, a Savage Eden was released.

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The heroine, beautiful Pamela, has red hair as well. She is also quite strong-willed and spirited. You need those qualities to challenge social constraints and have a “forbidden” romance with some guy named Strong Bear. She also wears puffy blue dresses that are pulled down with gravity.

Which leads us to Savage Bliss.

book cover of   Savage Bliss    (Savage Secrets, book 5)  by  Cassie Edwards

Entranced by her beloved and virile Gray Wing, Amelia is torn away by her family from her proud and magnificent Susquamish chief and taken to a an exotic shore, far from his touch but her hidden longings cannot be denied when he claims her as his forever.

Oh mulleted warrior with a headband, my heart is thine.

Says the blissful redhead in the photo.

Then there’s Wild Embrace which I talked about in the last post. I don’ t want to put the title here because, because, because it’s just so… scandalous…

For years, Cassie Edwards has been satisfying her fans with authentic tales of bold beauties, exotic braves and the untamed wilderness. Now the author of Wild Rapture captures a lost age of romance when Seattle was a rough frontier. Flame-haired Elizabeth is abducted by the noble Indian brave Strong Heart, who shows her freedom and passion the wilds can ignite.

She does have red hair. It’s sort of a maroonish color though. With pink highlights.

The next title shows you the power of brilliant red hair.

Savage Embers probably refers to the brilliant red hair of the heroine in this tale.

book cover of   Savage Embers    (Savage, book 9)  by  Cassie Edwards

After setting his eyes on Maggie, a scarlet-haired beauty, Falcon Hawk, a mighty Arapaho chieftain, is determined to protect her from her fiercest enemy.

One look at her scarlet hair, and Falcon Hawk (by the way, his parents couldn’t figure out what to name him so they took their two favorite birds and put them together. That’s why I will name my baby Broccoli Cabbage), his chest jutting out majestically, is determined to protect her from anything that might come by her way.

Not only can red hair mean that you are strong willed, brave, spirited, and maybe a little stupid. It also means that you will be protected from all dangers.

Breaking away from the Savageness of these titles, Cassie Edwards goes for the Wildness in the year of 1994. I won’t give you the title because it has a boring picture of a guy with closed eyes and a blank look, but here is the plot synopsis.

Railroader’s daughter Stephanie Helton and the tall, darkly-sensual Runner, adopted by the Navajo as a child and now destined to be their leader, were sworn enemies. But he drank deeply of the copper-haired, grey-eyed beauty’s forbidden kisses, and surrendered to the savage desire of their love.

‘Nuff said.

Apparently red hair can make grown men slaves to desire.

book cover of   Savage Spirit    (Savage, book 1)  by  Cassie Edwards

In the book Savage Spirit, written in the same year, Chief Cloud Eagle falls under the spell of red hair.

In Savage Spirit, Chief Cloud Eagle has tamed the wild beasts of his land, yet one glimpse of the flame-haired Alicia makes him a slave to desire.

Flame/copper hair is untamable. Sorry, Cloud Eagle. Just look at your Choctaw friend Red Wing.

In Savage Pride/Wild Whispers (yes there are two books with different titles but same story by this lady unless someone got confused):

The mighty Choctaw warrior Red Wing is powerfully drawn to a beautiful red-haired hellcat, Malvina, but it will take more than his caresses to tame her–it will take a love as pure and stunning as her beauty.

Does the woman on the cover of Savage Heat have red hair? I can’t tell. It would explain a lot of things.

book cover of   Savage Heat    (Savage, book 6)  by  Cassie Edwards

Ever since the sweltering summer day when Zoe Hawkins pinned on her father’s tin star, she’d sworn to uphold the law in rough-and-ready Gracemont, Oklahoma. But how could the lovely sheriff maintain order when she couldn’t even subdue her own wayward feelings for the mighty Kiowa chief, White Shadow? Every time he showed up at the jail to bail out his wild young braves, Zoe forgot the oh-so-correct colonel she was supposed to marry, and longed to surrender to forbidden desire.

This woman is amazing. She’s strong, tough, fierce, but at the same time still lovely. However, she has fierce passion.

An Amazon review gave the book one star out of five. (It’s the first one on the list.)

I hardly know where to start with this book. Maybe the fact that the romance felt non-existent? There was no chemistry between the hero and heroine. The author says they’re in love very early on in the book, but the reader never feels it. We also never get to see the “falling in love” part of the story, either. The characters never bother to communicate with each other, just constantly jump to conclusions and get offended all the time.

Another reviewer called it a Savage Mistake. She also described the heroine as a twit.

I read this book when I was new to romance reading and it’s a wonder I kept reading the genre after this. The research is
halfbacked, the plot ridiculous, the heroine a twit, the
hero a jerk….don’t waste your time.

The cover of Savage Grace disturbs me.

book cover of   Savage Grace    (Savage, book 11)  by  Cassie Edwards

Ugh.

In this story, it is a beautiful redhead named Shylee who rescues the mighty Cherokee warrior Standing Wolf, instead of the other way around. Unlike the other books, it received five stars on Amazon.

Savage Devotion involves a beautiful red-haired heroine. And by the cover, you can see that she really has it. Her hair is as red as red can be. Ketchup colored red.

However, the synopsis made me laugh.

book cover of   Savage Devotion    (Savage, book 12)  by  Cassie Edwards

Sailing the deep, clear waters of the Puget Sound, beautiful red-haired Janice Edwards is bound for a new beginning. Leaving behind the wealth and luxury she’s known in San Francisco, she hopes to find a simpler, sweeter life in the towering forests of Tacoma . . . and a man who will love her for who she is, not what she has. But when the steamer Hope is wrecked by a sudden storm, Janice is rescued by a man like none she’s ever known. Tall, with muscular limbs and a powerful chest revealed by his buckskin clothing, he is a Skokomish Indian-from all she’s heard, a savage to be feared. Yet in his gray eyes she sees tender caring, in his strong arms she discovers untold passion, and in his wild heart she will find . . . savage devotion.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Tall, with muscular limbs and a powerful chest revealed by his buckskin clothing…

Sort of makes you wonder if he did it on purpose. I’m kind of worried because their hair is blowing in opposite directions. His hair is blowing to his left, and her hair is blowing out behind her.

This collection would not be complete without Savage Moon.

book cover of   Savage Moon    (Savage, book 15)  by  Cassie Edwards

Misshi Bradley knew two lives. As a settler girl, she’d seen her family die, one by one, on the grueling trail west. Stolen by renegade Indians, she’d grown to womanhood with an Indian family. Now that the Indian maiden she’s become is ready to wed, she longs for only one man, Soaring Hawk, whose golden body and raven hair fill her nights with dreams of passion. She sees in his eyes that he longs to awaken her to womanhood in his arms. But, even as she gives her heart to him, her mind questions the wisdom of her actions. For, if his father destroyed all she held precious so many years ago, how can she trust Soaring Hawk to give her lasting love now?

It’s all about the hair, baby.

Sarah and Candy proclaim that this story SUCKS. Really badly. Horrible writing. Plagiarism.

The girl is spirited, has wild red hair that she dyed black with the stalks of a root called we sha sha. She was so very fond of her life… and is a dimwit.

brain_bleachFrom the review:

Ten years later, when Misshi is conveniently 18 years of age, the book reveals that she’s been miraculously adopted by a neighboring Shoshone tribe and made the adopted daughter of the chief. How this was accomplished, no one knows, least of all me because the book didn’t tell me, but Misshi is a happy, dimwitted dipsh** of a heroine in the Edwards mold, and has dyed her hair black with some random but powerful weed so she can blend in better with the other Shoshone.

Which is all well and good, I suppose.

This is one case in which the plot synopsis is so much better than the book itself. If you check the link, the bloggers include several quotes from the book — the worst ones — with their own commentary. It’s really funny. You’ll either laugh hysterically, like me, or go around searching for brain bleach.

So there you have it. Most of Cassie Edwards’s novels involve tanned, hairless men. They also involve redheaded ladies most of the time. Red hair means that you are strong-willed, fierce, stubborn, and  maybe a little stupid. It also means that a redhead can make a grown man a slave to desire.

At least now we don’t need the random we-sha-sha. We can have red hair that comes out of a bottle.

June 25, 2009 at 11:57 pm 3 comments

The Perfect Native American

We women love western romances.

And not just the cowboy type.

The Native American type.

Why?

This is a mystery to some. Why are women so fascinated with Native Americans with some red-haired white girl who dyes her hair black with the we sha sha plant romances? What is it about natives that are so cool and different and unique?

I did a search for novels with this theme, and found quite a few. First, there’s Cassie Edwards. The popular author (who has the worst writing I’ve ever seen. Weshasha, hahaha) has turned out volumes and volumes of Native American romances. The heroine is a white girl in some various helpless situation. The Native American is the strong one who comes to save her, standing manfully with feathers in his dark hair, his dark eyes smoldering with passion, and his loincloth waving in the wind.

No wonder we have a Savage Obsession.

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Maybe it’s because we’re attracted to something wild in a man. Edwards’s novels are in a serious, all starting with “Savage” and some cool word following. Savage this, savage that. Savage gas after eating broccoli.

Everything savage.

In this dreary life of home, work, school, bills, children, and poopy pets, we women long for something more. A paradise in the midst of a wilderness. A paradise where the prospect of love with a naturally dark-skinned, headband wearing man with long flowing hair, an armband that cuts of blood circulation, and squinty eyes will romance our troubles away. A paradise where we don’t have to pay the bills. All we have to concern ourselves with is the Savage in the Paradise.

Perhaps a Savage Paradise?

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And lo, this Savage Paradise that I mention is a place where the men wax their chests. And their pits. Unless that strange armband is meant to disguise the armpit growth.

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All that aside, what woman does not want to find a mighty brave holding a spear/torch/fancy fishing rod dressed only in a loincloth knocking at her door riding a white horse that does look mighty ticked off? A crazy woman, that’s who. He will come to your log cabin, and enunciate in a deep voice that his name is Night Thunder, for he comes like Thunder in the Night.

With one flick of his Mighty Red Loincloth, he calls the thunders of heaven upon you and steals your heart away.

That’s one dramatic entrance. Maybe it’s thunder which made his sternum cave in like that.

He grunts deeply. “How. Me take White Bride with Blonde Hair to tepee.”

“Oooooooooh!” you squeal. And then gracefully swoon at his feet.

Whereupon Night Thunder scoops you up onto his mighty stallion. You wake to find yourself swept up in a wild rapture with a dark skinned, slightly bewildered rider with a sexy six-pack. Your blonde hair will billow in the wind after you. The feeling of floating on air will be enough to make your clothes suddenly start sliding off with gravity’s pull. Good bye, ugly teal dress.

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This wild rapture will make you shut your eyes, hoping against all hope that this wasn’t some dream that came about from too much maple syrup on your breakfast pancakes.

You are afraid that this wonderful dream will turn into a nightmare like nothing you ever imagined. A nightmare in which the American Indians resemble American Indians in only a few things… simply a native gone wrong.

You’re afraid that you’ll enter a world of computer generation, whereas the world before was painted in pretty soft pastel colors and fine brush strokes.

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Where that perfect prince turns out not to be so perfect after all. He has the loincloth, the muscles, and the armband, but there is something strangely metallic about his hair and his lips are oddly pouty. What he wears on his head is not a headband, but rather a TIARA.

Imagine that.

This Warrior Prince will then whisk you away to a land with lots of trees and mist. It’s a land where lo, even the skies are green.

And it is also a nightmare land where the men grow steadily lighter and lighter and appear more and more plastic. Like one of those dolls.

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At least one thing he has going for him is hairlessness. On his body. Beyond the metallic hair. It would be a bit frightening for him to have metallic armpit hair. In this picture, he appears strangely bleached out.

Let’s hope you wake up before things get any worse.

And no. You want to be pulled into a Wild Ecstasy that involves you gazing deeply into a brave’s eyes while sitting in some awkward position on his raging stallion. While you try to take off your ugly pink outfit with two fingers.

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And then be pulled into a Wild Embrace with the man of your dreams.

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For years, Cassie Edwards has been satisfying her fans with authentic tales of bold beauties, exotic braves and the untamed wilderness. Now the author of Wild Rapture captures a lost age of romance when Seattle was a rough frontier. Flame-haired Elizabeth is abducted by the noble Indian brave Strong Heart, who shows her freedom and passion the wilds can ignite.

One must have a Strong Heart as well as a Strong Stomach.

Speaking about Seattle…

JacobRecently, our obsession with Native Americans has come to new heights with Twilight. Fans are currently divided into teams. One is Team Edward, which supports the handsome, pale, and sparkly Edward Cullen. The other is Team Jacob.

Who is Jacob? He’s a werewolf. Not just a werewolf. A cute werewolf. The picture on the right is of the actor who will be playing Jacob in the upcoming movies. And you’ve gotta admit that he’s nice to look at. Enough to make teenage girls swoon.

But Jacob is also a Native American. He lives on a reservation near Bella’s house, in Washington State. He meets Bella, and falls in love with her. It is a doomed love, for Bella has already fallen for the White Man, Edward. And as he fell in love with Bella, the fan girls fell in love with him. Even some older women fall for him, immediately denouncing Edward and joining Team Jacob.

He’s also the polar opposite from the pale and sparkly vampire. As a werewolf and Native American, he’s dark. He’s tanned (naturally). Jacob is not sparkly, either.

So sit down with a romance novel and enjoy your Savage Wildness. Dream of a lost time where the women were red haired, wore ugly teal/pink dresses, and the Indians were all muscular, savage, and had shaved pits.

Hopefully those fantasy don’t involve teal skies or tiara-donning males.

June 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm 4 comments


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