Archive for May 9, 2009

Perfection: Stella Artois

On the way home from someplace, I saw a billboard.


It said, “Perfection has its price.”

Perfection does have a price. You might have to splurge a little, but the benefits are totally worth it. This mindset applies to things like perfume and plastic surgery. But it also applies to beer.

Especially Stella Artois beer.

stella_blog_imageBut where did this slogan come from? This site says,

Stella’s research shows that 53 per cent of consumers are willing to pay more for a branded glass and 44 per cent of them are willing to pay more for consistently good beer. Alas, it also seems to be the case that 31 per cent wish the barman took more care in pouring their beer…… which is another of the reasons why we’re here — to be taught the finer points on ‘How to Pour Perfection’, Stella’s in-trade practical demonstration.

What is this demonstration?

Just next door in a marquee set up in the brewery toil 26 good barmen from around the world who between them seek the top title in Stella’s World Draught Master Competition 2006 on this, the 10th anniversary of the competition. Pouring to perfection requires them to fill two glasses of Stella at the same time to exactly the same levels with a consistent depth of head froth.

That is perfection, right there. Two glasses of the beer at the same time to exactly the same levels… how long does it take them to achieve that goal? 

A pretty long time.

It should be interesting to note that Stella Artois’ advertising slogan in the UK was “Reassuringly Expensive.” As well as this: “I’d rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity.”

Their main site is here. You have to enter your birthdate to enter. When you click the link to take you to see the history of Stella Artois beer, you’ll have to watch a long video with a man speaking in a different language about how this beer first came to be. 

Then, you can learn how to pour the beer perfectly. 

Only those who master The Pouring Ritual deserve a Stella Artois. Are you ready for The Challenge?

Oh master, I am not worthy.

As it turns out, just one drop above the required amount will ruin the perfection of the beer.

Therefore, Stella Artois is a beer that is both expensive (but oh so worth it) and far from mediocre. Not exceptional in taste, but exceptional in the way it’s poured.

I had some fun with the ads. 


Welcome to 1366. Over 600 years ago, people saw the world with different eyes. It was believed that thunder and lightning were caused by the wrath of the Gods. Yet despite the danger, the people of Leuven never hesitated to venture into the fields to bring in the harvest. We still believe today what they believed back then. Perfection has its price.

We drive through thunderstorms, hail, and snow. To do what? Because Macy’s is having a huge sale on jackets. Perfection has its price.


Welcome to 1366. Over 600 years ago, people saw the world with different eyes. They believed that the flaming sun was extinguished each night when it sank in to the sea. So when the beer export took off from Leuven, it was seen as a heroic act to be a sailor onboard the ships. We still believe today what they believed back then. Perfection has its price.

As goofy as these ads are, there is much truth to them. We women (and men) would sometimes pay great prices and go to great lengths to get what we want. Whether it’s paying big bucks for a good beer, or shelling out a 5000 to get a boob augmentation, or pectoral implants… perfection has its price.

Final one:


Welcome to 1366. Over 600 years ago, people saw the world with different eyes. The risk of falling off the end of the world was an ever-present danger. So when the people of Leuven set out to brew the perfect beer, their long journeys to find the finest hops were considered an act of bravery. We still believe today what they believed back then. Perfection has its price.

There are the times when we’ll search long hours in a department store to find the best heels. There are the times when we’ll go through our stacks of makeup to find that right shade of blush. And the times braving the lines after Thanksgiving to get the best sales? Perfection has its price.

But wait, wait! Stella Artois apparently has published a Gentlemen’s Guide to Romantic Perfection.


Supposedly you can see the whole pamphlet here. I can’t for some reason and I don’t know how to reach the guy who uploaded them. If you can, please let me know. 

In any case, it should be interesting to see what they say.

In conclusion, even though we’re in a recession, you should still take the money to spend on the things that make you happy. Like perfume, or plastic surgery.

Or beer.

May 9, 2009 at 9:03 am 1 comment

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