It’s a Sad World
When Obama ascended to the Presidency, people celebrated in the streets. They cried tears of joy, knowing that this was a milestone for the American people. After all, this was the first time a man with African American blood had succeeded in becoming president through the choice of the people.
No wonder people wept.
He carried the hopes and dreams of all of us. We had faith in him. We knew that he could be something great. We knew that he could fulfill all the dreams that we had ever wanted, including pulling the troops out of Iraq. He had a lot of potential.
He was the perfect man.
I say “was.”
For soon after, President Obama committed a grave error.
An error that he would not soon recover from.
He wore mom jeans to a baseball game.
What made this grave sin worse was the fact that Michelle Obama is a gorgeous woman and has an amazing fashion sense, not to mention nice guns.
The fashion police went after you. They called them dad jeans, nerd jeans. You are married to one of the most fashionable women in the world. Do you want to defend the pants?
She really puts it out there. “Do you want to defend the pants?” We know you messed up. The mark of a good president is of whether or not he admits that he was wrong in his fashion choice and promises to do better. Defend the pants? Dude, that’s just… not wise.
What did Obama say?
I’m a little frumpy.
He didn’t even blink an eye. Our president also stated that until a few years ago (why until then?) his wife made fun of him for only owning four suits. He also apparently hates to shop. Obama continued, “For those of you who want your president to look great in his tight jeans, I’m sorry, I’m not the guy.”
What was Glamour’s response to that? The blogger lady concluded that he had indeed defended his “mom jeans.”
If you click the link I provided, you can watch the video where the Very Important Question (as the blogger called it) comes up, along with Mr. President’s response.
Newsday also stated that we could stop talking about his wife’s toned arms and start talking about our president’s “unflattering, baggy blue jeans.” A fashion stylist, trying to look at the positive side, said, “Kudos for him to be thinking about moms.” While some felt that our president is not very concerned about fashion because he’s doing his job as a president, others disagreed. They pointed out that he was very happy to talk about his White Sox jacket which he wore with his mom jeans. Obama even stated that his wife thought he looked cute in the jacket.
“It’s not clear what she thinks about the pants.”
New York Magazine was very very very horrified. They were so horrified that they were sputtering with all the words that they were trying to say about their horror. We cannot let this sin go on! This mistake is a big mistake and must be corrected immediately! How offensive!!
He wears clothes because they’re comfortable? What is he — some sort of dad? Oh, right.
Last I heard, he had two daughters. But fatherhood pales in comparison to his role as President, and subsequently a man who must not burn our eyes with horrible mom jeans.
No one expects the president to waltz into JCPenney like it’s Five Guys and order up a hot new pair of pants as tight as Zac Efron’s. But that doesn’t mean he can’t try something a little darker, a little longer, and just a tiny bit slimmer. Surely Michelle’s aide can add an extra item to her basket the next time he or she online shops at J.Crew.
Yet another blogger complained that Obama wasn’t manly enough.
Yup – “one size fits all” – tends to separate the men from the boys.
She continues by stating that baseball is a manly sport and that Barack slipped on his wife’s jeans by mistake, and that he should have thought more about his choice of pants. She said that he was a bit… nellie. Whatever that means. And that he should “butch up his act a tad.”
Maybe you didn’t know this, but he has also committed the same fashion sin before. People still remember. At least the fashion police do. It’s apparently burned into their retinas. Glamour started their report by asking,
You know how your dad embarrassed you terribly in fifth grade by telling bad jokes and asking your friends about the boy you had a crush on and–maybe the most egregious–walking around in a pair of nerdy, faded Lee jeans that he’d had since the 70s?
Can you just feel for his daughters right now? He had some mom jeans that looked like Urkel or whatever, and then he bought a nicer pair of jeans because he was getting a hard time from all the blogs. Talk about pressure. With his newer, nicer pair of jeans, he was TRANSFORMED from a frumpy president to a less frumpy president (because people didn’t like the jacket he wore with the new jeans).
One thing is clear from this: If you are the President of the United States, don’t wear mom jeans. Not only will you horrify everyone who knows what good fashion is, you will be expected to spend more time shopping. You will also insult all of mankind by appearing like a woman. And finally, you will embarrass your daughters and your country. So make the right choices in fashion, and you will live long and happily and will probably be reelected.
It’s also a sad world where the President has to defend his super offensive mom jeans.